On our trip to Baltimore for Alexander’s follow-up with Dr Bruce tomorrow, Nicholas decided that he wanted to educate us on the finer points of the language as described in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to a Three Year-Old’s Language.
For example, the place that we were staying overnight was called a ho-towel, In Nicholas’ world, that is a noun that seems to mean the same thing as hotel.
And what did we watch several of on the drop-down TV monitor in the Sienna on the way to Baltimore? Yep…a DVDVD.
But the funniest one seems to be a nearly constant (ab)use of the perpendicular pronoun in pretty much every sentence he utters. Just substitute I for mine and you’ll be fine. (Ugh, poet and don’t know it…ack!!! I did it again!!!)
Seriously, the boy has actually had a remarkable command of the language from quite an early age. There was rarely doubts as to what he actually meant and his use of complete sentences for quite a while now is just marvelous. I mean, how many three year-olds do you know that can carry on a quite lucid conversation (either live or on the telephone) without necessarily getting bored after the first few sentences?
The boy is going to strike terror in the hearts of English teachers in our schools. Yep, that prediction is a freebie…the pre-school and early grades of elementary school are just not going to know what is going to hit them when he walks through the door.
A-B-C. 1-2-3.
Yeah, right! Oh, dear school teacher…your grammatical constructs are much too simplistic for me… 😉
You think I’m joking but I can totally see him rocking his teacher’s world. After all, how many three year-olds do you know who prefer the word aircraft to airplane?
He’s going to be a scary one in school. Scar-y, I tell you!
And I can already see where he’s either going to be a teacher’s dream or a teacher’s worst nightmare. You know the kind of kid I’m talking about, don’t you? That helpful kid that is most likely to be the A.V. monitor that threads the film projector because the teacher can’t figure out the serpentine feed system on your standard Bell and Howell 16mm film projector. (I just might have given away something here…)
You think I’m joking but you can already see it in his gym class. He’s just GOT to help hand out the bells or put the rubber balls away. Poor Miss Lauren never knew she was going to have such a helpful (well, most of the time) shadow.
And heaven forbid someone actually open the front door of the gym without his assistance…just can not happen in his world! When Donald Trump is doing the 25th season of The Apprentice and Nicholas is the one who is opening the door to Trump Tower, don’t say we didn’t warn you!
But we wouldn’t trade him for the world…no matter what he ends up doing with his life.