With all of the excitement surrounding Alexander’s second brain surgery and the advent of Kathryn Erin in August, it would be very easy to forget that our big boy is getting bigger and older right before our very eyes.
Whenever you have more than one child, each child usually has a unique experience growing up and it can vary dramatically depending on where in the pecking order you are. You know the usual bit…the oldest is supposed to be sooooo responsible, the youngest gets away with everything the older ones never dared, and heaven help you should you be born in the middle because you’ve just found the one Purgatory that is probably worse than being Vice President of the United States.
Guess what, buddy! You got the genetic equivalent of the short straw by being born first! We may not agree on much as you get older and decide to take an independent view of life and the world you find yourself in (by the way, who in the world told you this was a democracy… we are here to defend it, not to practice it!). But if we disagree on everything else, believe me when I tell you that I’ve had the job and there are lots of time that the job really stinks.
Let’s take the biggest challenge first, shall we? Imagine this, if you will…your parents are two people whose training for the job for which they embarked upon years ago came from the latest neat-o theories from the books they read, the experiences they had when they were growing up in your grandparents’ home, and the horror stories from the friends they don’t see much of any more. It’s almost laughable to consider that you have to get a license to get married or drive a car (implying that there is at least some basic training before said license is granted) but there isn’t any required training or licenses for having a child.
Guess what that makes you (and all first born!). Let’s see…four-legged cute and furry rodent with a remarkable ability at reproduction…yep, you’re the guinea pig in the experiment!!! It gets a little frustrating that just when you think you know the rules, the rules change (because we’re learning just as much as you are at the same time). And I can assure you that at some point in your life, you’re going to think that Alexander and Kathryn are getting away with murder doing things you could never contemplate. It’s a well known fact that parents get cooler as you get older…that doesn’t help you when you’re railing against the unfairness of seeing them get away with things that would have landed YOU in time-out or worse but hopefully it helps knowing that we do get it. 🙂
But then there is always the responsibility that goes along with the job that you really never asked for in the first place. You’ve got to be nice to your brother and sister and look out for them. You can’t knock them over like a bowling pin, no fighting with your brother and sister even when they start it, etc. You’re constantly getting in trouble for things they instigate or do because you’re older and you know better.
Yeah, been there, done that one as well. And I can guarantee you that you’ll find yourself in the penalty box at some point because little brothers and especially little sisters (who have the unfair weapon of feminine allure and lovely eyelashes they’ll bat in a second to sell you down the river!) learn very quickly how to get someone to serve their penalty in the sin bin for them. All I can suggest is to try to love them anyway even whilst you’re fuming about the five for fighting you got for dropping the gloves and going with them…and remember that were you in your shoes and the choice was between you taking the penalty or someone else, you’d probably stick it to the other person. Before you tell me I’m completely out to lunch on that idea…you might want to remember who was blaming his baby brother for his own gas…and that at a very early age for your last birthday, eh? 😉
All kidding aside, you’ve had a heck of a past year and in a way, you’ve had to grow up awfully quickly being the big brother that Alexander (and eventually Kathryn) needs. Just think about how far you’ve come in the past year…you’ve been talking in amazingly complete sentences for a long time, potty training was way easier with you than is normal, you’ve really done amazing in gymnastics…and you’re still adorably cute when you set your mind to it.
Not everyone will understand how tough it’s been for you to live in Alexander’s shadow (because he’s pretty much defied the odds of what most middle children experience) but the fact that you’ve done so with as much grace as you have really speaks volumes as to how true a heart you really have. Never lose that ability to lead from the heart because even though sometimes you’ll be hurt by it, you’ll be lifted up far more often.
That’s the job in a nutshell…it is all about heart and character and we are so proud of you for being a wonderful big brother in these challenging times Never forget that! Even with the occasional temper tantrum that’s perfectly de rigeur for your age, you are still the best oldest brother Alexander and Kathryn could hope to have.
Sometimes the job stinks on ice…but more often than not, it’s really worth it. 🙂
