There were a few posts that I was planning on writing this afternoon and evening to try to catch up on the backlog thanks to the madness of May so that the loyal readers can have their monthly dose of Mistletoe the PuppyDoodleTM cuteness and other bits and bobs.
This was the post I wasn’t planning on writing for a while that just has to jump to the head of the queue.
I just found out via the McClerren family group a few minutes ago that Aunt Betty passed away overnight at the nursing home in Utah she had moved to months ago to be close to my cousin Rhonda who was living in the area.
By my reckoning, she was the last of that McClerren generation to leave us.
In a manner of confession, I am kind of surprised this news didn’t come much sooner.
When one half of a couple who loved each other continuously as much and as long as Uncle Roger and Aunt Betty did passes on, it’s not uncommon that the other half follows soon after in desperate yearning to be back together with the other half of their soul.
And there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Roger and Betty truly loved each other in epic fashion!
That they were able to share such love as many in this world can only dream of for as many years as they did…that is a true blessing right there.
But the light of their love that they shared with others is the flame of the candle of their lives that those of us who were fortunate enough to spend even a modicum of time with them will remember for the rest of our days.
I was lucky enough to have much more than a modicum of time with them when Dad retired to Port Orange and we became the 7th and 8th members of the family within two square miles of each other in the autumn of 1986.
Over the next two years, all eight of us would get together regularly after Sunday services at whoever had the hosting duties that week for a potluck lunch and then the recovery period after a meal that would feed a military company over twice our number!
Whilst I’m in the mood to confess some sins (but not repent of them!), I’ll admit that I often made sure that I knew what Betty’s contribution to the dinner table was because of the family in the immediate area, she was by far the best cook of all of us. More often than not, her creations were what landed on the majority of the plate in front of me.
I cannot recall for the life of me one of her culinary efforts that rated below me looking kind of like this:
Immediately after lunch is when the arguments would begin over who would take home leftovers and how much they’d take. That was the signal for everyone else to beat feet to somewhere other than the kitchen to let the antagonists sort it out.
That safe zone was often the Florida room at whatever house we were at (except Dad’s…our Florida room such as it was happened to be rather weak but the living room would serve the same purpose).
Once the feathers had stopped flying, we would generally find our way back to a common room where the after-lunch debates would begin. Sides would be taken up right quickly and there would be three tribes: the liberal wing led by Roger and Betty facing off with the conservative Grandma and Dad and the rest of us as spectators who would occasionally throw a spanner into the works by offering arguments on both sides when the debate looked like it might be losing steam.
OK, one spectator in particular. 😉
If my daughter ever asks me where I learnt to be annoying in debates, I can honestly say a lot of it came from those after-lunch free-for-alls!
I would miss those debates when I left Port Orange in 1988 for university but every now and then I’d make the trek to Port Orange via the back roads through Oviedo and Samsula for a family event and that’s what kept me grounded enough to make it through four and a half tough years in Orlando.
Eventually I’d find my way home to North Carolina and the visits back to Port Orange would become much less frequent but certainly more cherished when they’d happen.
And when I’d get a chance to see Aunt Betty and Uncle Roger, their smiles and open arms would welcome me back as if I’d never left.
Their hospitality and love were as constant for me as the stars themselves.
This was especially true when I saw them for the last time a couple of weeks after Dad passed away in 2016.
It was as if the many years had not passed as I came through the front door of their house in Willow Run and it literally looked as it did back in 1988! That visit and a chance to get over the initial shock when I saw the state of Dad’s house truly helped me make it through that difficult week and face the tasks that were to come.
That was a kindness that I will never forget as long as I shall live.
And that’s the word I’ll leave this with…kindness.
Were one to look in the dictionary, it would do well to suggest Aunt Betty and Uncle Roger as one of the preeminent examples of the concepts of kindness and love this world has ever seen!
And though I’m profoundly sad to know that now I’m the only one of the eight of us who spent those years together in Port Orange that’s still alive, I am truly happy that Betty was able to speak with the family before her passing and that she re-joined Roger and the McClerrens in peace in that place where no shadows may fall.
We should all be so fortunate!
My most profound condolences go out to all of the Smalls and McClerrens who knew and loved Aunt Betty and I wish for all to find some measure of peace and solace knowing she is in a far better place now and especially reunited with the other half of her soul.